My memories go back to a cool, damp March day. We had just buried my father, and the family had all went back out to the cemetery that evening to say our last goodbyes.
We lost him so suddenly. It was a senseless death caused by the hands of negligence. It was one of the hardest times in my life. I loved my father dearly and he was such an inspiration to me.
To lose him like that was terribly devastating.
I was about 3 1/2 months pregnant with Ally when my father passed. He knew he would be the grandfather of another sweet little baby but he just didn't know at that time she was a girl :) It's comforting to me because sometimes I will walk into a room and I will hear Ally carrying on a "conversation with pappy".
Ally Lynn carries his namesake. Ally for Al (Albert) and Lynn for Len (his middle name). She carries his picture around often and she tells me he is in heaven.
The months following my fathers death are distant memories to me. I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. I was in survival mode.
Did you know........
That I knew before we had Ally that I had a greater chance of having a child with Down syndrome because of my age? We had several ultrasounds through out my pregnancy which showed no soft markers for Down syndrome. They wanted me to have an amniocentesis but I wasn't going to take a chance of loosing my baby. I had already had several miscarriages before becoming pregnant with Ally. We had waited so long to have our baby girl.
Seven months later......
Ally was born on a beautiful, Fall, October afternoon. The hours leading up to her delivery were pretty much uneventful until right before delivery. I was eight centimeters and Ally's heart rate took a dangerous nose dive and everything went pretty quickly from there. The doctor was doing everything he could to have me deliver her before I was completely dilated. Her heart rate would not come back up... very scary moments.
Then the moment came when they handed me my beautiful daughter.
Did you know....
She was perfect!
Psalm 139:13-14
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works. And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret. And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
....and perfect in Gods eye.
I had waited so long for this sweet little angel. So many years of trying to have her. They handed my baby girl to me and I held her closely and as she looked up at me with her big, beautiful eyes. It was love at first sight.
After the scare she gave us at the moment of delivery, she was fine. Her heart rate was great and I remember being able to spend quite a bit of time getting to know this precious bundle of joy. The family all came in the room to see her. Her brothers were all there and took pictures with her, grandparents, friends.
We just couldn't get enough of her! They came in and Scott and Ally went to the nursery to get her cleaned up.
Scott came back to my room awhile later and he broke the news to me that they thought she may have a problem with her heart. I was so scared when he spoke those words to me, I just didn't know what to think. He said the heart specialist was with her and that he would be in after he examined her. A few hours later the heart specialist came in to talk to us. Indeed she did have a VSD but he said she wouldn't need surgery right then. It was something that they would watch closely and see how it does during the first year of her life.That same heart specialist (who absolutely was the most compassionate doctor I have ever met) also told me they suspected that she may have Down syndrome. Exactly a week after she was born the test results came back that she did indeed have Trisomy 21.
Did you know.......
From that day on for quite awhile I went through some rough times. Losing my father, finding out my baby had Down syndrome and a heart condition. I'll be honest, it was tough. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I felt like I had lost my daughter also. The daughter that I had so many dreams for. There were many nights that I sat up rocking her as she nursed wondering what her life would bring. I probably cried a river of tears. Tears for the unknown. I was so frightened about what the future would bring for her and our family. How was having a child with Down syndrome going to impact my boys lives. I asked God so many times "Can I, can we, really do this?"
In the day I cried out, You answered me, And made me bold with strength in my soul. (Psalms 138:3)
Why does God allow his sons and daughters to go through trials? Why did this happen? For me, I know it was to bring me closer to Him. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). Oh how that rings so true in my life. I prayed that He would comfort me and show me the way. He did and still is showing me the way. *I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you (Matthew 17:20).
Did You Know.......
Ally had to feed from a syringe the first week of her life because she was unable to nurse. The next four weeks mommy pumped her milk (seems like every hour on the hour) so she could drink it out of a bottle because she was still unable to nurse. By the time she was 5 weeks old she had mastered the skill of nursing! Yeah!!
This was the beginning of a life full of determination, and she hasn't slowed down since!
Did you know.....
When we celebrate our daughter's achievements we are celebrating
Ally!
Things haven't always come easy for her. Her achievements have come because of hard work and determination on her part. She doesn't have any major health issues but that doesn't mean we haven't been through a tremendous amount of stress concerning her health.
Heart doctor appointments every month after she was born to determine if she was going to have to have open heart surgery. She still has to have yearly check ups because they are always concerned about scar tissue because the hole was so close to a valve.
When she was 3 and 1/2 years old we went through a period where we thought maybe she had a tumor on her liver. Talk about being scared....I was scared to death! Her liver enzymes were off the charts and we didn't know what was going on. Test after test, X rays, MRI's, Ultrasounds....you name it.... we were testing her for everything. The bad part is her liver enzymes eventually went down but we never did get a diagnosis of why her liver enzymes were so elevated.
So of course every time she has blood work done, I am saying my prayers for her that everything comes back normal. Just s few weeks ago we were saying our prayers again because of abnormal blood test.
They thought she may have Autoimmune Hepatitis or a muscle disease....praise God, all test came back normal. We still to this day have unanswered questions about her liver. She is actually going in for an ultrasound of her liver in a few weeks. Please keep her in your prayers :)
Then there was a time several years ago that she got very sick. We had her doctor to doctor, test after test, and we just couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She was so sick she missed several weeks of kindergarten. Well it turned out that her Endocrinologist was over dosing her medication, and not by just a little bit but entirely way too much. She was one sick little girl! This went on for several months until the mistake was noticed, we trusted the doctor and the doctor failed her! After finally getting her to a
competent doctor and on the dose she needed to be on things finally got back to normal.
Did you know......
I wish someone could have told me many of years ago that having Ally in our life was going to be the ultimate gift of all. I truly mean that from the depths of my heart.
Not knowing at the time that God had an extraordinary gift he was giving to our family, it has allowed me to see the beauty in every thing around me. It opened doors that I didn't even know were shut until after I had you. There hasn't been a day it has allowed me to surround myself with people that are genuine. People that truly see the beauty in you like we have seen. I see the smiles you put on peoples faces when you walk into a room (you are like a ray of sunshine) and most of all I have seen how so many lives have been changed for the better because of one little girls love. I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive to have been chosen to be your mother. I wish for others that they could be blessed and experience the kind of love that you have brought into our lives. They would see life through Gods eyes for the very first time. They would slow down, enjoy life and really begin to live. I believe God wants that for all of us and wants us to to live our lives like that. Ally, you have taught me exactly that.....
take time to listen to the birds, watch the butterflies flutter around in wonder,to be able to answer a million questions that are asked by a very curious little girl and appreciate the beauty that each day brings. Most of all, love each and everyone for who they are and to accept each individual for who they are. Thank you ,Ally, for showing me how to love an individual unlike I have never known before. You have opened my eyes to see the beauty of acceptance and sadly sometimes the ignorance by others but through it all you have made me a better person. I praise God everyday for blessing our family with such a beautiful daughter.
Did you know......
Ally is an amazing, smart, beautiful little girl!
Did you know.......
Ally has the biggest, brightest smile!
Did you know....
She's the apple of her Daddy's eye!
Did you know....
She is in second grade.
Did you know....
She loves to learn new things every day.
Did you know.....
When she grows up she wants to be a police officer just like her big brother, Justin!
Did you know......
She loves horseback riding...
and absolutely loves the game of Baseball...
Did you know.....
How much her big brothers love her!
Did you know.....
She can read just about anything she picks up. She would read all day if you would let her!
Did you know.......
She writes beautifully.
Did you know....
She loves her very best friends!
Did you know......
one of her favorite songs is "Jesus Loves Me"
Did you know.....
That she is the light of my life? Thank you Ally for all you have taught me about life. You are a beautiful person so full of life and laughter. The world is a much better place with you in it! I love you to the moon and back :)
Did You Know.....
Her life is a life worth living!!
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